I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
