...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize