You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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