It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
