Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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