are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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