Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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