the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
