I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
