Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
