well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
