this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
