so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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