You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
