you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just invented taco cereal.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
