Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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