I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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