Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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