when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
