Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
