Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
