can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
