can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
