can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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