great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
