They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
