Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
