So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
