I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
