That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
