I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
