He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize