he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
