suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
