Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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