i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
