she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
