It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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