rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
