i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
wow bdsm is so cute
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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