but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
