We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
