it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
