I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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