I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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