I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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