Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
