Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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