Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
