Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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