Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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