I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
