I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
