What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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