I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
