I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
