I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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