nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
