Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
