Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
