Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
