I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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