i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
